Sometimes the news we hear from alumni is just lovely. This just in, from the email Inbox: Fairhaven School alumna Erin Umstead, class of 2005, has just released her first EP of music, “The Norway EP.”

Please support her work, just another example of the interesting, creative lives our alumni continue to manifest. (Kudos also to Erin’s website designer Ben Umstead, current Fairhaven substitute staff and member of the class of 2001.)

Here is the announcement from Erin herself, with links:

I wanted to give the community information on my debut EP! It contains four original songs and is called “The Norway EP”. You can stream it for free or download it for $1 (or more) here: http://www.erinumstead.bandcamp.com

Some other sites for people to stay up to date with me on are:

Facebook “fan” page: http://www.facebook.com/erinumstead

Twitter: http://twitter.com/erinumstead

Blog: http://www.erinumstead.tumblr.com

I will also be playing the open mic at New Deal Cafe in Greenbelt tomorrow, January 5th at 7pm. Info here: http://www.newdealcafe.com

Thanks for the support!

Erin

(Fairhaven School  graduated seven students last June. As a way to celebrate the class of 2011, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the third thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

Aryeh Y. Grossman
3/31/2011

What’s my label now?

These are my life stories as best I can remember; each of them is part of what has helped to create who I am and hopefully has prepared me to become an effective adult.  Becoming an adult happens regardless of effectiveness; but becoming an effective comes from being someone who positively evolves from their experiences along the way.

Beginning

When I was young I was labeled with learning and physical disabilities.  At age four my parents were told that I would never amount to anything.  I would never be capable of properly communicating, writing, biking, and learning.  I was put in a learning disabled class.  These years were filled with frustration due to people not knowing how to deal with me.  It took me longer to learn how to read.  In 4th grade I entered a special program called GTLD, gifted and talented learning disabled.  It was a very small group of people about 5 to a class I had great teachers.  I started gaining more of the confidences I needed.  By 5th grade I was learning at grade level just a little slower.  My teacher encouraged me to pursue my interests.  When I was interested in African art she gave me several college level books about it.  Being labeled has never been allowed to stop me.  I, according to this doctor, should have never been able to write this much.

Fairhaven

When I was twelve, I came to Fairhaven.  Within my first few weeks of attending school I discovered the school’s freedom and trust.  For me I discovered it using a knife.  When I first came to school we were allowed to carry knives.  I had had a knife since I was four.  My Abba (Dad) gave me my first, an old Camillus Cub Scout knife that had been his as a kid.  I almost instantly got certified and started dabbling in whittling, which led to my first write up.  Leo, a former staff person, wrote me up for not cleaning up wood shavings.  A couple of months later pocket knives were banned.  When I was told about this I was outraged.  I had been completely safe and because of other people’s actions I had my right to carry a knife taken away.  After discussing this with Mark, I decided to bring a motion to school meeting to informally discuss my problem.  That meeting ended with no progress on the knife issue.

This series of events might seem inconsequential to some people, but it taught me a lot.  First, I was forced to deal with the consequences of my action in the school’s Judicial Committee (JC), one of the most important tools of the school for teaching about responsibility.  Second, I went to School Meeting and spoke for the first time.  Third, I was confronted with the loss of my rights.  To me, there is nothing more important than maintaining our rights.  As a result of this belief, I have clerked JC several times, chaired School Meeting for a year, serving as Assembly President this year, and have become a more conscious individual.  For me, taking these experiences, learning from them, and using the lessons to grow and make change demonstrates how I am becoming more effective.

I used to know what I wanted to do.  I was going to own a business.  I was always toying with different ideas from the presumption that people would always need grave stones and coffins to coming close to buying a vending machine.  Around the end of my first year at Fairhaven, I started selling ice pops with a friend.  We were making pretty good money but the partnership fell apart.  One day he took the money home with him and lost the list of people who had IOU’s.  None of the people came clean and we lost money.  He wasn’t being careful with money or labeling the products which left me doing most of the work.  This resulted in me throwing a bag with 50 pennies in his face and effectively ending our business partnership.  I took over the business.

The next year the only other student who had a business graduated, leaving a void.  Several other students stepped up, including my friend who took over the soda part of the business with another partner.  I never intended to take over selling sodas from him, but he and his partner didn’t do a great job.  They didn’t keep well stocked, shop around for good prices, or manage their business well.  I had been keeping a case of sodas around for myself and people started asking to buy them because they couldn’t purchase from the actual business.  I started casually selling my sodas on the side when people inquired.  To insure that I didn’t steal any of his business I charged $1.50, twice his rate.  I genuinely didn’t want his business to fail because he was still my friend.  It did fail, though. The business fell right in to my lap.  I found a cheaper source and sold my sodas at fifty cents.  I had the strongest business in the school and I was on top.

We all learn from mistakes.  I had never really been involved in theatre at Fairhaven, but I agreed to be Sir Toby Belch in an unabridged version of William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.  I didn’t read the script before accepting my role and neither did the director who gave me the part.  I had never done a play before and over one hundred lines had to be memorized.  I worked hard because I had agreed to do the play.  When I agree to do something, I do it.  Several other students ended up quitting, most of them older them me.  On the night of the performance, I was told that I was going to have to wear makeup I freaked out, resulting in me being slapped by two very stressed out directors.  We managed to pull it off and it taught me that I could do what I set my mind to.

When I was twelve I took on my first major responsibility.  I started volunteering as a shadow for a 4 year old that had Familial Dysautonomia at Adat Shalom Religious School.  He was unable to speak, unable to feel pain and had a tube in his stomach for feeding.  My primary job was to keep this child emotionally and physically safe.   I was there to watch him and advocate for him.  If he got hurt, I had to be there so that people would know what happened, because he could not process the pain for himself.  I bonded with him at once.  I knew him I could communicate with him; he was very perceptive.  I could talk to him and he would answer with hand signals for yes and no.  This has affected how I look at other people who some might ignore or dislike just because of behavioral and physical inparement.

Illness

This is the blurriest segment of my life and I have pieced it together as best as I can.
Headaches came out of nowhere, debilitating headaches.  At first doctors couldn’t figure it out.  My family had never been huge on conventional medicine; however, sometimes you’re left with no other choices.  At first they thought it might be me just not wanting to go to school and that it was all psychological.  My parents have always been fierce advocates for me and they wouldn’t accept that answer.  They finally sent me in for a CAT scan and they found an arachnoid-cyst in my brain the size of a cue ball.  As my headaches were getting worse I stopped going to school.  I was bedridden from the pain.  Because the kind of cyst I had didn’t usually need surgery, the doctors just tried to manage the pain including a stay in the hospital.  But they weren’t dealing with the source.  My parents got me in to see one of the world’s most predominant surgeons, Ben Carson.  He agreed with us that the cyst was putting too much pressure on my brain.
I had to have a brain surgery called a fenestration to drain it.  There was a 3 in 10 chance that it wouldn’t succeed and that it would require a second surgery to place a shunt.  We decided to risk it even with the possible complications a shunt can cause.  I had to spend the first 24 hours after surgery in ICU and then several more days in the hospital.  A couple of weeks later, the pain in my head was back and was so intense that I ended up in the ER.  After a CAT scan, I learned that the cyst had grown back and I also had a hematoma from the surgery.  I was in too much pain to be crushed by this.  I spent another week in the hospital.  Hospitals aren’t a place to heal.  You go and you get fixed hopefully, but you still have to recover from simply being there.
I had over 30 staples in my head and had to sleep almost sitting up once I got home.  I went back to what had been but now it was worse, I now had scars from the failed surgery and the pain hadn’t gone.  Doomed to waiting, I sat in my bed taking painkillers and drugs every couple of hours.  My parents didn’t give up.  No one wanted a shunt.  We found a new surgery being done.  Only two doctors in the world would do this very specialized surgery, one in California and the other in South America.  It was a laparoscopic surgery through my eyebrow to remove the cyst completely; however I could not have it done immediately because of the hematoma in my brain that had to be resolved.  It took three months and we even considered doing surgery just to relieve the hematoma, but it went away on its own.
The plane ride was the worst of my life.  Then, we spent the first couple of days in a crappy hotel, going back and forth to the hospital doing pre op tests.  I was at my most depressed state ever.  We were blessed when a couple of family friends came by, but it was still really hard to deal.  I was in pretty horrible pain all the time.  They went out and got me 2 Grateful Dead albums which were a calming force.  The day of surgery came and we went early in the morning hours to the hospital.  I broke down when they wanted to give me an IV.  I was tired of all the poking and prodding.   I refused.   I wasn’t going to put on a hospital gown or submit to the needles.  The doctors, nurses, and orderlies ganged up on me and forced me to have the IV and  the anesthesiologist went ahead and put me under.
The next month was a blurred existence.  I remember the first time I woke up from the surgery vividly.  I still had the respirator in my throat and I was tied down to the bed.  They put me under again.  After I was released from the hospital, we spent the next few weeks at a friend of my mom’s house because I was not yet ready to fly.  A few sketchy details are what I remember not coherent memory: no cable TV, a lot of Everybody Loves Lucy, a fruit basket and I don’t even like fruit, Tommy the rock opera, and my addiction to lollypops began.  I don’t even remember my flight back to Maryland.
Healing was torture.  My headache was only replaced.  The incision site from the first surgery was hurting and it seemed as if almost nothing had changed.  More doctors were the name of the game.  I have no ideas how many different doctors I’ve seen.  After searching for the right pain management specialist for months, we finally found one who could help.  I was put onto a new drug that suppressed the misfiring nerves in my scalp.  It still took more time to find the proper dosage and bring me up to it.

Recovery

For me it was all about my return to school.  I had missed so much, yet I was not behind.  One of my first steps when I returned was reestablishing my business.  On one of my first days back at school I learned that another student had been selling sodas in my absence.  He had been charging twice what I was and selling off brand lower quality soda.  He had a total monopoly on the school and his prices reflected that.  I let him sell the rest of his stock and went back to selling name brand for sodas for 50¢ each.  I started seeing my business as more of a reflection on how I treat other human beings.  At the beginning of the school year I came in the first day.  I was fully stocked with 50 dollars worth of product.  People perceived me differently.  I was brain surgery kid.  I was in the shop hanging with Leo when a new staff member barged in.  He said,”Hey I heard the brain surgery kid came today.  Where is he?”  This was a big personal realization of how people saw me.  I ended up missing the next two days of school because I was still was recovering.  When I came back, my entire inventory had been stolen.  I wrote it up.  I ended up missing the next couple of weeks as well.  Lisa Lyons came by to visit and she informed me that JC had caught the people who had done it and I would be compensated.   This was the first time JC had done anything about thefts for me.  I had problems sporadically over the years.  I believe they only did this because they felt they had to watch out for brain surgery kid.  This was something that would just take time for people to get used to.
It took time acclimating back to school.  One of the places I got involved with was School Meeting.  I started attending when I did manage to make it to school.  I got to understand the school more thoroughly by attending.  So few people attended it was usually five or so students including the chair and secretary.  The only thing that got people to come was the controversial issues.  I found it frustrating how few people attended school meeting.  I enjoyed being at school meeting.  I was there and ready to be one of the few voices conscious enough to makes sure they know what was going on.
There were two major events that took place that represented my transformation from sickness to health.  The first was when my meds had finally kicked in and I was capable of attending school regularly.  My Imma (Mom) had wanted to throw away some of my get well cards and this seemed wrong to me.  I didn’t want to just throw away good intentions but I also didn’t want to hold on to the energy of me being sick.  So I decided to burn them.  I got permission from school meeting to have a small bonfire at school and burn the cards.  It felt like the right place to do it to end the sickness at the place it had kept me from.  I gathered up all of the cards.  It must have numbered over five hundred cards and lots of unneeded paper work.  The day of the burning we brought 3 boxes filled with just paper.  My Imma came in and we went to the back of the old building and said a prayer that had been written for me.  I can’t remember what it said anymore.  It was the first thing we lit.
As soon as the bonfire was over and the cards and medical records were turned to ashes, I knew that a segment of my life had ended.  We drove to Target and I bought $70 dollars in get well, sympathy, and thank you cards to send to others..  Even though I had burned the ones sent to me, I wanted to find a way to pass on the positive energy by being able to support others.
My family and I held a celebration of life party.  At first my parents thought of it as me getting my life back, but I stood firm.  It was not just my life we were getting back, my whole family had lost a lot during my time sick.  I decided it was not my party it was our whole family’s party and we were going to celebrate all of our lives.

Normalcy

After this my life changed.  I started going to school with regularity.  I got elected to school meeting chair and finally overcame one of my original outrages.  I brought a motion to school meeting to allow students to carry pocket knives.  I had to create comprehensive rules pertaining to the certifying and use of knives at school and extensively research law pertaining to this.  It took six weeks of going to school meeting to get all the new procedures passed.  After 5 years of no knives some students are allowed to carry knives again.  I became a certifier for pocket knives, so that I could over see the rules that I had put in place and teach proper usage.
The school’s rules have always been a strong interest to me because I always loved the philosophy of personal responsibility in the school.  I had always been pretty well versed in the rules and JC procedure but never allowed myself to clerk due to my poor hand writing at the time.  I joined a writing class, mostly for grammar but each class opened with small writing exercises in long hand.  After a few months I was proficient enough to take on the writing part of being a clerk.  I have now been an alternate clerk a handful of times and clerked twice.
My business, one of the few constants throughout my career in Fairhaven, started to take on a different shape.  One of the main reasons I held on to it so long was to keep student business at school from becoming a monopoly.  I was not in it strictly for the profit anymore.  I find the challenge of it fun.  I started having to lock things up to prevent theft from happening.  Before, people had just grabbed the stuff and looked for me to pay.  They started interrupting everything I was doing so I could unlock it for them.  So I started hiring someone to sell for me part of time.
I also had to start making choices about deeper human morality.  I learned about the slave trade used in chocolate.  Thirty seven percent of the world’s supply of cocoa comes out of the Ivory Coast where approximately ten thousand child slaves are used and another two hundred thousand or so child workers.  This outraged me so much that I quit the sale of chocolate.  However this one little act is not nearly enough.  I struggled with what the next step was.  At first I started by going after the people who were buying it and selling it.  I tried to educate them but usually got angry when they responded that they didn’t care and I called them out by personally letting them know that they were no better than the slave traders themselves for choosing to do nothing.  This put people off as I should have expected but I was blinded by the passion.
I changed tactics, I started bringing up just the facts whenever I could and simply say I would not support the sales based on facts.  This is when things started to change.  People became more conscious.  Without me having a direct hand in it a motion came to school meeting to forbid the sale of slave chocolate at school.  There was a lengthy conversation in school meeting about the issue.  Even thou the motion had failed it was a success to me because people were talking about it.  Since then two different fundraisers at school have used fair trade chocolate in there events because of what I have said.

Plans and Personal philosophy

As I said I used to know what I was going to do.  I would run and own some sort of business.  It was a strong pull for me, but as I have gotten older, it has grown less clear.  The difficulty in running a socially responsible and competitive business at school is overpowering.  For me though, there is no other choice but to be socially conscious in business.  Being socially responsible is so essential to the core of who I am that I am beginning to think that owning a business outside of school would be a challenge that might too difficult to consider taking.  On the other hand if I found a good opportunity, I would absolutely consider it.  I just don’t know where my life will ultimately lead.  In the short term I plan on going to community college for a year and working during the summer as a camp counselor. Then I will spend a year in Israel and taking an ulpan, which is an intensive Hebrew emersion program.  From there I don’t know exactly, but that gives me 2 years to figure things out.
What I do know is to feel decent about myself, I have to stand up against what I know to be wrong and volunteer in the community.  I have gone to a Darfur rally and plan to go to another in the future.  When there was threat of a Koran burning I was trying to figure out how to go down to Florida to protest this most disgusting act and ended up attending a small rally in DC against it.  When I learned of the child slavery in chocolate, I made my household purchase fair trade only and will continue to educate people about these problems for the rest of my life
As for community, I am always ready to do what I can.  I am a ham radio operator, call sign KB3WTF.  I have worked on the course of the Marine Corp Marathon looking for downed runners and radioing for help.  I am also looking at volunteering at equal exchange, a nonprofit that verifies that workers are paid and treated fairly.  In addition this philosophy has lead me to much of what I do in the school, including being Fire safety clerk, elections clerk, Assembly President, and  repeatedly serving as JC clerk.
For me, being an effective adult is being someone who can positively evolve from their experiences.  My experiences in life made me evolve to be the conscious and action oriented person that I am today.  From my earliest days dealing with being labeled and more recent years dealing with brain surgeries, I have gained perseverance and fortitude.  My time in the theater began shaping my work ethics, while my business has sharpened my work ethics and helped hone my action oriented philosophies about human impact from every action.  My time with Eli has altered how I perceive other human beings with physical or mental disability.  Recovering from illness and re-assimilating back in to the community has changed how I look at myself and the world around me.  Being School Meeting Chair, Assembly President, and JC Clerk has shown that I can work with people and oversee a process.  Dealing with theft and my chocolate revelations has taught me to adapt to different situations.  I hope that by showing you my life experiences and my frame of mind, I have demonstrated to you that I am ready to become an effective adult in the larger community.

(Fairhaven School  graduated seven students last June. As a way to celebrate the class of 2011, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the second thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

HEADWORK

My name is Ginger Engel, I’m sixteen years old, and five of those years have
been spent at Fairhaven School.  It’s been five years of ups and downs, highs and
lows, and too many experiences to tell.  It’s been quite the adventure and
although I’ve enjoyed it, I’m ready to start a new adventure; an adventure
outside of Fairhaven.  But I didn’t become ready overnight.  I’ll start at the
beginning.

When I was twelve years old I was enrolled at Fairhaven with nothing to
lose, really.  I had no real direction in my life and no idea what to do with myself.
Fairhaven seemed like a good place to figure those things out.  I spent the first
week or so of school mostly just watching people.  The only other person I knew
was my older sister, so I had to make new friends, something I’d never been good
at.  But after spending so much time just watching people I fell in with a group of
people that I still call friends today.  I spent the rest of the year trying to get
better at interacting with people.

My second year started off much like my first, talking to people, hanging
out, and trying to figure things out.   During that year I learned how to crochet (a
type of craft, similar to knitting, which involves a single thread and a hooked
needle).  At the time it was just a hobby that I did in my spare time.  It wasn’t
really a big part of my life.  In the spring, Fairhaven held an arts and crafts fair that
my friend and I registered for.  We sold pillows and stuffed animals, all of which
were hand sewn.  We made a considerable profit and it was a lot of fun. That’s
where it all really started.

The following December I registered for a craft fair at a church with my
mom and sister.  I didn’t sew anything this time but I had gotten good enough at
crocheting to make scarves and hats to sell.  The fair was successful and I really
enjoyed it, but crafting still seemed like a hobby more than anything else.

It wasn’t until almost two years later that I considered being a crafter to
make a living.  Fairhaven held another Spring craft fair, which I was quick to sign
up for.  That’s when I decided to start entering craft fairs on a more regular basis.
That same year in late August I registered for an ongoing fair in Silver Spring called
The Fenton Street Market.  This turned out not to be the best idea, it being back–
to-school time.  In October I registered with The Fenton Street Market again and
got a better turn out, but still not great.

That December I registered for a fair at the church that I had registered
with years before.  I wasn’t able sell anything I’d made.  But I met the person who
I now think of as my only role model, despite the fact that I don’t know her name
and she’s about 60 years old.  I met her when I was walking around the fair to
look at the other vendors.  She caught my eye because she and her husband were
selling crocheted scarves and gloves.  I walked over and she and I started talking.
She told me about how she loves to crochet and it’s what she does with most of
her time. But it was two words she said to me that still stick with me.  “Keep
crocheting” she said.  I’d never felt that kind of support and inspiration from
anyone else.  I decided to keep that bit of advice and keep crocheting no matter
what.

After the fair in December, it occurred to me that fairs may not be the best
place to try to sell crafts.  So I decided to start selling online.  I’m signed up on
Etsy, a website that hosts crafters.  Right now the specifics are being worked out
(payment methods, shipping costs, etc.) and then I’ll be ready to sell.  I’d like to
eventually have my own website to sell my wares on but I think Etsy is a better
place to start.  I’m taking my time with the online selling though.  When I do
something I want to do it right.  I don’t want to rush into a totally new
environment without knowing what I’m up for first.  Walk before you run, right?

Being at Fairhaven has taught me a lot of things, like time management.
This year I ran for JC clerk for the first time. About three years ago I had been a JC
alternate and I didn’t enjoy it in the least. But I figured that it was 3 years ago and
my opinion of clerking may have changed. So Matteo and I ran for clerk
unopposed and, as you can imagine, got the job. There’s quite a bit of time
management needed to clerk because you have to factor in the time it takes to do
the sentence list, whether  you     need a sub for anyone, getting a runner, finding
missing JC members, and take into account that JC may run anywhere from 20
minutes to 2 hours. I feel I fulfilled my role as a clerk pretty darn well. I’m still not
sure how much I enjoyed the experience though.

Another lesson came up with a write-up that involved a few friends, a
buried time capsule, and a total lack of permission to dig it up.  It didn’t really
occur to us to go to school meeting or ask the grounds clerk or anything like that.
We just started digging.  Although I always feel people should do what they feel is
right, it’s important to go through the right portals to do it.  Then maybe you
won’t end up getting sentenced to three grounds jobs.

There are some things I learned at Fairhaven just from being around other
people. One valuable lesson I learned was to not be afraid to ask questions. When
I was a kid and I didn’t understand something, I wouldn’t ask anyone to explain or
at least not immediately. I was really shy and didn’t want people to think I was an
incompetent fool. So I kept quiet. Which never worked out very well. Because
then I would eventually have to ask someone what to do and I’d feel twice as
foolish because I’d waited so long.  When I got to Fairhaven and started to hang
out with people who seemed so comfortable with themselves all the time, I
realized that it’s better to ask questions now rather than later, even If it does
seem silly.

I also learned how to interact with people who are significantly older or
younger than me.  The first time a student who was older (about five years older)
than me said hello to me, I was so startled and didn’t know how to respond.  I
thought maybe he wanted something from me but I couldn’t think of what he’d
want.  But he just wanted to say hello.  After I got over my strange fear of older
people I actually became friends with that particular student.  On the other end of
the spectrum are younger students, and Fairhaven has plenty of those.  I used to
find small children rather irritating and would try to avoid talking to them.  Then I
remembered what it was like when I was seven years old.  I wasn’t all that
different from the kids I was trying to keep away from.  Now when approached by
kids I try to remember myself at that age and I’m able to have a conversation with
them.  A lot of them are pretty cool in fact.

There are also some valuable (if not simple) lessons I’ve learned outside of
Fairhaven, but with people from Fairhaven.  Like checking the train schedule for
the Metro. That way you don’t miss the last train out of Washington, DC and end
up having to call your dad at 1:00 in the morning to have him pick you and your
friends up.  Or remembering to bring tip money when you go out to a restaurant.
That way you don’t feel like a total jerk when you only have enough money for a
two dollar tip.  I still have a hard time with that sometimes but I’m working on it.

I believe it’s all of the experiences somebody goes through that makes
them an effective adult, an effective person, a person at all.  I haven’t mentioned
all of my Fairhaven experiences since there are too many for me to remember
and some may be lost in the back of my memory.  I’ve mentioned things that I
believe to be most significant.  I believe that these are things that make me the
person that I am, the effective person that I am, and the effective adult that I’m
becoming.  If there’s anything that my sixteen years have taught me, at Fairhaven
or otherwise, it’s to never regret anything.  Realize your mistakes, learn from
them, and know you’re better because of it.

Headwork: n/ mental work or effort : THINKING

(Fairhaven School  graduated seven students last June. As a way to celebrate the class of 2011, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the first thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

The First Step
By: Sarah Boyd

“When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught how to fly”
-Patrick Overton

Every graduating student strives to be an effective adult, so it’s no revelation that I would desire to be one as well.  First, I must define the term; and to be honest, that term is highly subjective.  Is there really a “correct” definition?  To me, an effective adult means to be the kind of person who knows what they are doing in the present, while still being able to accept that they don’t know where the future is going.  They must be able to make themselves happy without hurting others, and make others happy without hurting themselves.  A large part of this includes self-awareness, as well as being aware of others.  Taking both into consideration is vital in order to be a beneficial part of society.  Independence is also a large part of being an effective adult.  Someone who depends on others not just for financial aid, but also for emotional aid is not an effective adult.  An effective adult must be able to function integrally with others, as well as stand on their own two feet.  They must also know when to say that they need help.  Even though I have most of these traits, I do not find myself to be an effective adult yet.  I have plans for today, as well as plans for what to do tomorrow.  I even have an agenda for the next few years.  I am aware of how I have changed and how I would like to continue changing.  However, I must be in the world and prove my independence on my own before I can call myself an effective adult.

Past

My past has made me who I am in the present; and inevitably affects my future.  I grew up with three siblings.  My closest sister is five years older than me, and the next sister is ten years older than me.  I also have a brother who is thirteen years older than I am.  I don’t know my siblings as well as I would like to, but we talk often and seem to get along pretty well.  I grew up in a working class family and went to public school for the first nine years of my academic career.  For the first few years, I had a lot of fun.  I am a tomboy, so I played a lot of tackle football and had a lot of friends.  The summer that I was going into middle school, my father died after a two-year battle with lung cancer.  This would have made it hard enough to deal with, but I was also a minority and was picked on a lot.  Before that summer, I was so young it didn’t seem to matter.  It was during seventh grade that everyone noticed I was different. Seventh and eighth grade are the only two grades in middle school grades in my area.  For those two years, I was pretty miserable.  All the friends I had moved away, and it was hard to make new ones.  The ones I did make were tentative friendships, so I spent a lot of time at home, simply existing.  It took awhile, but my mother finally saw that public school wasn’t working anymore.  Until then, coming to Fairhaven was not necessary.  It was okay for me to be in public school, but at this point, we knew it was time for a change.  So at age thirteen, I came in for a visiting week.  And I loved it!  I went through a couple of groups of people before I found my place; I met a lot of great friends.  I learned a lot more than I ever thought anyone could know, and mostly about things I never even knew existed!

Fairhaven And Present

It’s been almost four years at Fairhaven.  I still feel like it’s an entire new section of my life, so I feel it deserves a new section of text.
I grew to really like the people at Fairhaven.

I came from a really hard situation where I felt like people and society were my enemies.  I never talked to people, and often wore dark colors to deter people from talking to me.  I found the easiest way for me to transition into the Fairhaven culture was through video games.  I played a lot of those in the first month before I finally got out and started to meet people.  I made a few quick friends, including Caroline, who stuck with me for the first year.

I was starting to become comfortable in the Fairhaven setting, and I felt like my broken self-esteem was on the mend.  I became involved in the school plays, and discovered a true passion!  Through my first theater production, I met Pallas Bane, who was graduating that year.  We became fast friends, and she invited me to “Tuesdays.”  This was when a large group of friends gathered at the Bane’s home for pizza and socializing.  It happened on Tuesday, thus the name.  A social situation for high school students involving no drugs or alcohol was very different than what I was used to.  My first Tuesday was rather awkward.  It involved a few shy introductions, and a lot of sitting with Pallas, just talking about things.  Despite how antisocial I was at the time, it was really fun; I returned every week for the next two and a half years.  This was the first time in my life that I felt that it was okay to be a little straight edged.  In public school, it was the norm to do drugs and drink.  Even though I never said so, I was uncomfortable with that situation.  At Tuesdays, it was ok to not want to be around drugs or alcohol; this was an amazing feeling of relief.

The next two years were kind of a blur.  I remember a lot of just sitting around shooting the breeze with a lot of different people.  I remember learning about how to deal with younger kids.  I made friends with a young girl named Livia who greeted me with a hug every morning. This was new for me because I was the youngest in my family, and never had experience with younger kids.  Now I feel comfortable interacting with children of any age on a regular basis. This has been a huge change for me because I was so timid around kids before.  I was afraid of hurting them because I didn’t know my own strength.  Now, I know how to be careful around them without being overly timid.  Infants have a tendency to stare at me; I take that as a compliment.

Having learned how to interact with kids better allowed me to be JC clerk three times in my second year, once in the fall and twice in the spring.  Clerking JC was a huge responsibility. At first I was timid due to my lack of confidence, and also late getting things done.  That was quickly remedied; soon I was consistently early.  I became more authoritative with time, and I quickly obtained the ability to keep JC in check with phenomenal ease.  I remember friends coming and going a lot in this period.  I was pretty busy a lot of the time, so I went through a lot of “best friends” before I settled on three at once.  That’s when I learned that I could have more than one “best” friend.

In my third year, I was JC clerk twice; once at the very beginning of the year and once at the end.  Through this, I learned perseverance; clerking with headaches and being held accountable for my time.  Time management came into play because for the entire year, I was also School Meeting secretary.  I remember having to stop clerking JC fifteen minutes early on Wednesdays so I could run downstairs and prepare the SM agenda; which I did as accurately as possible.  It was a lot of hard work, and it was never perfect but I held things together anyway.  This situation proved to me that I could push myself; even when I didn’t have space to breathe, I found the time anyway.  I even managed time to socialize!

During this time, I also found myself good friends with Becca and her family, who have unofficially adopted me.  This was strange at first because Becca is three years younger than I. In public school, any age difference between friends was unacceptable.  I no longer have any problems being friends with people of different age groups.  My adopted family is pretty great. They take me on all of the family vacations and are just cool in general.  By knowing them, doors have opened for me in unexpected ways.  They taught me that vacations more than two hours away are accessible.  Being from the working class, I never dreamed that I would go on a cruise.  I now have been on a cruise; I have seen the world, and it is wonderful.  Then they taught me that vacations can be a lot closer that that; vacations can be as close as a car ride alone.  It is with this mindset that I continue to live.

Here I am at Fairhaven for the fourth year.  It’s been a really great run.  I never took enough classes, regretfully, but it has still been very productive.  I feel I contributed a lot to school and now I’m ready to leave my stories behind and move on.  I was the first of this graduating class to have a driver’s license.  Last semester, I had two classes at PGCC and a weekend job.  I worked hard to find time for everything, thus proving I am an over-achiever.  I have not done very much at Fairhaven this year besides the theatre productions.  It’s not because I no longer care; it’s because I have started more classes at the local community college.  Even though they can be rough, I find them fun and exciting.  They are exactly what I need to start me on the path to where I’m going.  I have gotten an attendance exception so that I can attend Farihaven and college at the same time, without penalty.  I feel as a graduating student, I have done well to be at Fairhaven and at the same time learn effective prioritization. Being a graduating student, I have struggled hard to find a part time job as well as my college courses.  This means that I attend Fairhaven less frequently.  However, I feel I have taken steps to transition well because next year, I won’t be here at all.

Future

From the past and the present, is born the future, so it is here that I focus most of my attention.  The future is never set in stone.  I will often change my mind and the way I live, even to things completely different from what I envision now.  Alas, there is also a need for direction.  In my plans, I keep both of these things in mind.

I had thought about what to do with myself for a long time before I settled on Theatre.  Music and art are also passions of mine, but I feel they would become something I would despise if faced with having them as a career.  Theatre is the one thing that I see both as work and play at the same time; as if it is a meeting in the middle.  It’s hard for me to conceive that I would leave theatre for another career.  I love the environment and the people.  If I don’t succeed as a performer on the stage, I would be more than happy to work behind it.  I would love to create scenes for the characters.  I could paint sets, build stages and create worlds.

As I previously stated, I currently take classes at Prince George’s Community College.  I have taken Sociology and Drawing I.  I am currently taking Beginning French and Introduction to Theatre.  Because I am also in high school, my major is General Studies.  However, as soon as I leave Fairhaven, I plan to change to Theatre.  I will be focusing on Musical Theatre, so I may decide to minor in Music as well.  I plan on forging my way to Broadway someday.  I listen to musical soundtracks every day.  I try to get my hands on as many as I possibly can in order to strengthen my base knowledge.  It can be a very hard road to walk down, but I know I can do it. Even if I never achieve Broadway status, I will have lived according to my dreams.

Now, as an effective adult would, I have back-up plans in consideration.  I have recently developed an interest in hands-on life saving, such as becoming a paramedic.  This is a challenging path, but I enjoy having challenges in my life.  No matter what happens, I keep the philosophy in mind that life is always changing.  I know that whatever happens, I will adapt in a positive manner.  I know I will continue to search until I find a path that feels comfortable for me.

How Fairhaven Impacted Me

I think the first thing Fairhaven taught me was that I had an opinion, and it mattered; I learned this through School Meeting.  At first, the opinions I voiced in school meeting were a little silly.  Now that I look back, I realize that they really weren’t that great.  I often considered one thing, and that was myself.  Now I realize that there is a lot more in the world, and when thinking about something, I must try to consider all sides. Over time, I thoroughly learned the ins and outs of the school and came to understand my own opinions.  As a further revelation I realized that my opinions mattered; other people listened to my opinions and took them into consideration. This was a very strange thing to me; where being raised in a traditional family everything was dictated by my father and mother. Before then, I had little to no say what happened in my environment.

The second thing I learned was how to manage myself, and give forethought to my actions.  I learned that my actions had consequences, and what those consequences would be.  Two things in particular brought this to my attention.  The first was JC.  I was called to JC for being a “stupid teenager” and going off-campus with too many people in one car.  As a result, I was restricted to campus, and it was not fun.  I wanted to go places and be free; I never repeated that incident.  The second way I learned this lesson was through School Meeting.  When I had a motion at SM, it passed if I was there to argue for it.  If I didn’t show up, my motion was essentially ignored.  I learned how to care about what I wanted, and how work for it as well.  This situation, as well as serving on JC and SM, also taught me time management. I had to be on time in order to get what I wanted.

Fairhaven has taught me many other things as well.  It has taught me that my world is not small.  Everything I learn about myself applies to others as well.  Everyone is human, and I must learn how to accept them in spite of that.  Everyone has opinions that need to be cared about, and worked around.  I need to accept my anger as well as my happiness. I am not the only one with worries, fears and anger.  Also, I do not need to like everyone, and certainly they do not need to like me.  A life is a life, and respect must be shown to it.

Being at Fairhaven, I have finally had the time to grow socially.  I have learned how to interact with small children.  I learned how to talk to people my own age as well as those who were older.  This involved learning how to adapt my interactions to be understood by those with whom I was interacting.  I now know how to interact with people in a positive way; that a lot of what I thought was the norm such as fights, cursing, and general aggression is actually looked down upon.

Conclusion

I have not listed every single lesson Fairhaven has taught me because that would be impossible; there have been millions of them.  The lessons I have discussed here are the ones that were the hardest to learn, and I felt the most important.  Fairhaven has had a huge impact on my life.  When I first arrived here, I was a very self-conscious and lonely teenager.  Now I find myself standing as an adult, full of confidence and on the same level as everyone around me.  This is a privilege I have not had before and have worked hard to achieve. I am independent, strong-willed, and I know exactly whom I am. I know where I came from and where I want to go.  I have a renewed faith in myself; this is something I intend to hold on to.

I have tried hard to show you what kind of person I was, and how I have become closer to the person I want to be.  I feel that as a student, as an adult, and as a human I have made tremendous leaps in my life.  I am ready to make the leap of graduating from Fairhaven and continuing my path in a different setting.  I hope I have proved to you that I will be an effective adult by showing you what progress I have seen in myself; not just through Fairhaven, but also through my life experiences.  I have found joy in Fairhaven for many years, but I feel that I am ready to move on to the next stage in my life.  I have found solutions to problems placed in my way, as well as finding ways to help others with theirs.  Despite the hardships, I am here today; ready to encounter the next set of challenges.  I am immensely happy that I have proved to myself what I can do; this was the hardest step for me.  I feel that I have said and done all I can do to prove the same to you.

Sarah Boyd

We learned last Monday about the tragic accidental death of David Hepner, one of our 2009 graduates. He was riding in a truck with two other graduates, passing the home of yet another graduate. The news and suddenness has shocked and rocked our community, but the unique fabric of a Sudbury school has already begun to show.

We had an informal discussion in front of the impromptu memorial in the Chesapeake Room Tuesday, with many staff and student remembrances of David. Several community members with grief counseling experience and training have been volunteering to offer support to both current School Meeting members and alumni. Like in other communities, people are volunteering to pitch in as these multiple families cope with crisis and loss.

What’s been unmistakable is how helpful our structure is for adjusting to life’s vicissitudes; thank goodness we do not have to compartmentalize grief and sadness, that we can just talk about it when we want and where we want.

As we continue, we are buoyed by David’s ebullient spirit, and by our fond memories of him: his gusto on the soccer field; his kind, loving relationship with the younger students; his remarkable capacity for spontaneous joy (even in his last act, according to witnesses); his profound love for his friends; his quick smile. Although there is no explanation for the tragedy of a nineteen-year-old dying, we offer our appreciation for knowing him and for this caring, human community in which we mourn his loss.

Mark McCaig

October, 2010

(Fairhaven School has just graduated five students. As a way to celebrate the class of 2010, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the seventh and final thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

How I have prepared myself to be an effective adult

Effective adult means many different things to many different people.  I believe an effective adult has responsibility, knowledge of self, effective communication and community integration.

When you are self responsible, effectiveness within the adult community is assumed.  When you aren’t responsible for your self other pursuits become irrelevant, not to mention impossible.  A job is essential for food, clothing, housing, and general finances.  And if a person is to have a job they must have responsibility.  I believe when you know who you are work becomes an act of gratitude.

I see work as something that becomes apparent through constant pursuit of happiness and balance.  With the pursuit of a balanced life there are many opportunity’s for responsibilities.  I believe through responsibilities we can find peace.

Now that I am of legal age, responsibility means knowing what needs to be done. I have learned to manage my money, take care of my car, and contribute to the household.  I am currently working for the Bowie Blade delivering newspapers once a week.  I have learned to be dependable in doing my job and recognize the importance of work ethic.

During my time at Fairhaven the judicial committee exhibited a fair justice system; I believe this system taught me responsibility as a necessary characteristic. Being written up repeatedly through out the years has been a cycle of learning resulting in a new perceived value of responsibility. The first case I remember was when I was 5 years old. My friends and I rolled a giant pumpkin across the co op grounds only to be written up later.  The pumpkin had an owner and we hadn’t asked permission.

Knowledge of self is critical to being an effective adult.  I believe an effective adult recognizes their infinite potential for self discovery and growth.    I believe it’s important to consistently ask yourself what you need concerning this.  I have been seeking knowledge of self primarily through a spiritual manner. Meditation has been a beneficial route in self discovery.

At Fairhaven I have been given an abundance of freedom.  This has been essential in pursuing the constant discovery of where I want to be in life.  Following enrollment I found interest in video games and learned to read from playing them.  I grew up with a love for nature that was nurtured by the structure of Fairhaven; spending hours in the woods, collecting rocks and building forts.  I was quick to follow my heart.  At Fairhaven I also found an environment ideal for relationships, that environment being one with few restrictions that would prevent me from discovering my truest nature.

I have been producing and composing music since I was 14.   Working with music has helped me open to myself and others.  Music is my primary inspiration as a career.  I also have interest in horticulture. Living in a rural area, I feel much motivation to learn how to live off the land.  I aim to project my value of a better world, through artistic and other expressions.

I believe an effective adult recognizes communication as the connection with the outer world and manifests this knowing with that very communication.  I believe communication to be essential for any connection. At Fairhaven I have learned to communicate with clarity and integrity, from discussing my job as “sound guy” in the plays, to talking about life with younger students. I find the widest knowledge to come from communicating to the widest age group.

An effective adult recognizes the importance of being integrated within a community.
Community is essential in a balanced life.  I find my inner balance most present when I reflect upon a community for support.  I have participated in music corp. and have been the DJ at school dances and coffee houses.  I have enjoyed being a part of many of the school plays as the sound engineer, helping to create various musical scores.  I have found much contentment coming from simply being a part of the bigger picture.

I went to the Fairhaven school co-op at age 5 and went to Fairhaven at age 6 when the doors opened.  I have been a student at Fairhaven for 12 years. During my time at Fairhaven School I have acquired responsibility, communication, integration within the community and knowledge of self. This is what an effective adult is.

By Jimmy Jackson

Fairhaven School Class Of 2010

(Fairhaven School has just graduated five students. As a way to celebrate the class of 2010, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the seventh and final thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

Catching Leaves

“In the blink of an eye, babies appear in carriages, coffins disappear into the ground, wars are won and lost, and children transform, like butterflies, into adults.”

–Brian Selznick

My art is not writing, it is telling. I tell stories through my artwork, but today I am telling you a story through my words.

I believe that an effective adult is a self-sustaining being, who does not need to rely on anyone but herself, and who knows responsibility and self-discipline. She is also aware that every action she makes has a reaction that will affect others and she is successful, meaning she is satisfied with herself and how she lives her life. An effective adult is also able to communicate her needs and feelings in a respectful and mature fashion, and can work and compromise with others to obtain contentment for all involved. She is also very adaptable, able to work with any type of situation easily and efficiently.

I was born July 16^th 1994 and I was given the name Lillian Ashanti Lani. I lived and learned from my experiences. When I was four years old I decided I was ready to travel across the Atlantic Ocean and the United States by myself. I flew from Kauai, Hawaii (which was my home then) to Delaware where my grandparents lived. That journey gave me a greater sense of responsibility for myself and my actions; it also quenched my thirst for independence and made me hungry for more. Ever since that trip I have loved to travel. I am captured by the thrill of experiencing new places and different cultures and I can acclimatize very easily.

In the summer of 2004 my mother and I moved to Maryland so I could attend Fairhaven School. I was very nervous, I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t know if I would “fit in.”

My first day at Fairhaven went like this: I was walking into the office with my mom and out of nowhere popped this boy with long curly hair, bare feet and mud on his clothes. Zack Bennet. He looked at me and literally screamed, “HEY YOU’RE THAT GIRL FROM HAWAII RIGHT?!!” He didn’t give me a chance to reply. He just introduced himself, “I’M ZACK! YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE IT HERE!” Then he ran off. I remember being excited that I didn’t have to wear shoes and being terrified of that Zack creature. I also thought about what he told me, “You’re going to love it here.” I was skeptical; I had been to so many different types of schools and so far none of then had worked out. I had been uprooted and transplanted so many times it was hard for me to believe those words. But he was right, I loved it.

My first week at school I spent in the Art Room by myself. I was so happy I could just draw all day. ALL DAY!  I loved my new freedom and I fit perfectly into Fairhaven’s unique system. I watched; I played; I learned; I grew. I was no longer a child, not in my eyes, no.  I was a….  Well I wasn’t exactly sure what I was yet, but I was sure I wasn’t a child anymore. Why?

Because I had an opinion, I had a voice, a vote equal to those older than me; these are all things that were and are very important to me. I have always wanted people to listen to what I’ve had to say and I have always had an opinion about something.

At Fairhaven I also had the right to do what I wanted to do with my time, but occasionally what I did with that time landed me in J.C. My first time in Judicial Committee was as a plaintiff. I had written Jared Luczak up for repeatedly taking things out of my cubby. The other times I was there as a defendant. I went through a period of time when I lied. See, I was accustomed to the “you don’t get caught, you don’t get in trouble” policy, but at Fairhaven if you get caught and then you don’t tell the truth, you’ll get in much bigger trouble. When people found out I wasn’t being honest I got scared. I thought everyone was going to hate me for it.  But no, they didn’t.  I soon learned that it was okay to make mistakes as long as you learn lessons from them and that at Fairhaven School everyone is just learning together. Even though they might be learning very different lessons or might be at very different stages in their lives, we still all learn together and help one another along. I wasn’t I anymore, I was we, a part of the most amazing community I had ever experienced. When I figured out that J.C. wasn’t against me and out to get me, the judicial system was so much easier for me to work with. J.C. helped fine tune my ideals of respect, my actions and the reactions to them (in this case room restrictions and community service) and the benefits of telling the truth.

This year I found myself clerking J.C.; in previous years I had been interested in clerking or alternating but I just wasn’t ready to commit that much of my time. Julia Rubin and I were elected together. Clerking on the Judicial Committee really helped me improve my communication skills, and my patience. J.C. also helped me determine the most efficient ways to hear everyone’s thoughts and feelings and meet all their needs. I hadn’t ever really run a meeting before, unless you count a Music Corporation meeting comprised of three people. I had watched J.C. and School Meeting run so many times that I knew the theory by heart. So I dove into clerking and I loved the experience.

When I was younger and to this day I was given art supplies and puzzle games instead of a TV, so naturally when I saw the Art Room I thought I had walked into a dream. I have always been a very creative person and just being at Fairhaven inspired me to put my talents to greater use. I mean the entire campus is a beautiful work of art. I love to paint, draw and make 3D art. Working on my art projects enables me to dive into my imagination and just let go of all the stressful things in life; and it is amazing where my imagination takes me. This school year I went to School Meeting and got an attendance acceptation to have more time to work on my larger pieces of artwork. Art is really a passion of mine and I am basing my career off of the things I love because I believe that in order to be successful in life you need to enjoy your occupation.

I made a lot of amazing friends at Fairhaven. One thing that really helped me to do that is that I could just be myself at school and I didn’t have to worry about anyone judging me. After I had gotten comfortable with myself and my surroundings I started to be more outgoing.

Once, this girl, Josette Jackson, and I spent two weeks in the shop building a jump so we could play horses. Josette and I later became very good friends. We were inseparable, we played all day together, we ate together, and we practically lived with each other. She helped me learn and grow, and I likewise, helped her; it was a great friendship. Fairhaven showed me it was okay to be an individual. It was not a bad thing to stand out of the crowd and say, “Here I am. Accept me like this or don’t at all, but I don’t care because I am just me and I like who I am.” The school also helped me learn how to connect with lots of different types of people and cope with all their different habits and needs; I also gained courage to make new friends. At the age of twelve I even had the courage to take a trip to Tanzania, Africa, with my mother; we volunteered in the schools everyday for a month and during those days we were separated by miles. I taught my own class of twenty-five kindergarten and preschoolers who spoke mostly Swahili (the common language in Tanzania). I wasn’t afraid at all. I just took things as they came to me and worked my hardest to teach the children in my care. It was an amazing experience living there for a whole month. A lot of people that we met didn’t want me to leave and I seriously considered staying.

It was late spring 2008 when my mom told me I had matured enough to carry my secret name; she also told me we were moving to a different house. We had been living in the same house for four years. When we had lived on Kauai we had moved from house to house a lot, so I was kind of excited for the change. During that last school year at Fairhaven I had been debating whether or not to change schools, and in mid-summer I made my decision. I was going to try something new.

A new house, a new name, a new school.

So at the beginning of the new school year, instead of getting in the car with my mom and driving to Fairhaven, I got on a school bus for the first time in my life and headed off to the local public school, Southern Senior High. My first month at Southern I didn’t say a single word; all I did was listen, observe and memorize. This was such an abrupt change for me. I had attended public school on Kauai for second grade, but elementary school on an island is a whole lot different than a high school on the “main land.” I knew no one, and when I say no one, I mean every single person at Southern High had no idea who I, Salvia Lani, was. All of a sudden after four years of running barefoot though the woods, jumping in the stream and having Munchkin wars, I had a schedule. I had classes, I had homework, and I had to be there on time. It was kind of a culture shock at first but I adapted well to the very different school system and I thought it was a lot of fun.

I confused the teachers more than anything. No previous grades, no classes, no preparation and straight A’s! That is another thing I really love about Fairhaven, you just learn even without realizing it sometimes. Also I am just, “stubborn” as my mom calls me. If I want to do something I will work as hard as I can until I finish it or I will fall short, then I will get right back up and try again until I succeed. I am a very determined and self-motivated person. When I was very little I figured out that I can do anything I put my mind to no matter how difficult it is and no matter who tries to stand in my way.  With my artwork I like to set myself tasks and deadlines in order to exercise my self discipline and keep the gears in my brain well-oiled. That year in the public school system was really enlightening. It made me realize just how lucky I really was, how much freedom I had, and how much trust I was given at Fairhaven School. I learned some valuable things at Southern High School, and I met some people that I won’t ever forget and a lot more things that I can’t forget soon enough, but by summer I was ready to go back to good old Fairhaven.

I really enjoy working; I love the satisfaction of getting the job done even if it is extremely difficult. At the moment I hold two seasonal jobs, one in a catering kitchen and the other at a local café. I also provide child care for a couple different families. I am a very quick learner; you can show me how to do something once and I will be able to do it or you can take me somewhere once and I will be able to get you there again no problem.  This has been very useful for me in my places of work as it allows me to move up to the harder tasks quickly, plus I am a walking GPS.

When I was younger I would always answer that question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” with something different. Now that I have to answer it for real the list has become insanely long. (But everyone has to start somewhere, so here goes.)  I am going to get a full-time job for this summer in order to save up money to pay for my schooling and housing down the road. Then in the fall I will switch to part-time so I can attend community college, either AACC or PGCC.  My reasoning for this is because I would like to have a few credits under my belt before I start a four-year university. Next fall I am also going to take EMT training; I feel that I will learn a lot of very useful information and I really like to help people. That is another possibility for a job. In the field of four-year colleges I am looking at schools that major in art. I am very interested in a career as a fashion designer, an interior designer or a chef. These are all things I take pleasure in doing and I believe they will make lucrative careers.

Attending Fairhaven School has given me amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experiences.  It has taught me to speak out for what I want and what I believe in. Fairhaven gave me the opportunity to focus on one subject or endeavor for as long as I was interested, and allowed me to follow my passions. It has helped me establish and govern my ethics of independence, self-discipline and responsibility; my efficiency and negotiation skills, my adaptability, awareness and self satisfaction. The school has helped me learn and grow throughout all my stages of childhood. It has helped me become who I am today, an effective adult ready to move on to new challenges and experiences in the larger community.

Even if I get nervous about taking the next step, I know all I have to do is take a deep breath, hold my nose, jump into the cold water, see where the current takes me, and work with it.

“It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”

–Ursula K. Le. Guin

by Salvia Lani

Fairhaven School Class of 2010

(Fairhaven School has just graduated five students. As a way to celebrate the class of 2010, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the seventh and final thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

My Last Walk Home

Hello! My name is Zachary Taylor Bennett. I am seventeen years old and have been attending Fairhaven School for 13 years now. Every single second has been a learning experience because Fairhaven has allowed me to pursue my passion in whatever way I saw fit at the time. I love adventure, being outdoors and exploring. Among other things, early on, I wanted to become a paleontologist and a geologist, so I spent alot of time getting muddy in the stream searching for shark’s teeth, and finding that one rock that was so much better than the rest! I spent days, weeks, months and years exploring, happy with my wet clothes caked in mud and God knows what else. I was diligent, devoted and playing hard.

One of the things that Fairhaven urges its students to do is follow the rules. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time in the Judicial Committee.. I was suspended, indefinitely suspended, and even expelled at the age of six because I left school property three times. I decided to walk home, and got pretty far the first time. I was angry, frustrated, and wanted to get away from being bullied. Since my independence made me a liability for Fairhaven, I was expelled. I attended Davidsonville Elementary where I came to the realization that my opinion meant nothing. I had no control over anything; it was the opposite of everything I was used to. I was determined to do better the next time at Fairhaven where freedom is everyone’s right.

I have been traveling since the age of three months. I have been to several places including St. Martin, Bolivia, Panama, Mexico, Canada, Jamaica, the Canary Islands, Hawaii, and all over the United States. I have seen huts with dirt floors, given clothes and toys to the poor, and enjoyed the pinnacle of extravagance. I saw the devastation of 9/11 a month after the fact. I remember playing in the Circle Room of Fairhaven’s old building that morning and not knowing what was happening. At the end of September, my mom showed me. I was nine years old, with my scooter, in the city of New York. It resembled a war zone yet the people stood stong and proud. Being an effective adult means showing up.

Presently, my passions are snowboarding and spelunking. I helped organize the annual Fairhaven ski trips to Seven Springs three years in a row. I have been caving and snowboarding for ten years and traveling from coast to coast, often alone, to do it. After you do something for that long, you find ways to relate it to your life in general. For example, when you’re coming up on a thirty foot jump, there are a few things going through your head: Am I going fast enough or too slow? Am I going too far to the right or left or am I in the middle? Is there someone at the bottom of the jump? All these factors are in play. Let’s say I have a job and am excelling. If I tell them I can do things I cannot really do, I am going to overwhelm myself and get fired/ fall. On the other hand, if I take my time, in business, good jobs are quickly taken by people willing to take that hard fall.

I enjoy caving because it is one of the most beautiful ways to see nature at its best. Most caves remain untouched for thousands of years before we find them. They are a sight to behold. You would never believe how amazing it feels to be hundreds of feet underground until you have done it. I have been in lava tubes, tight spots, gigantic rooms, and in complete darkness. There is a cave in particular in West Virginia, named Simmons Mingo. Just entering the cave is a feat of its own. You literally climb down a thirty foot hole in the ground about as wide as a barrel of wine, followed by several other decents. In general, cavers must be prepared with the correct eguipment, cooperate and trust each other. We also take out of the cave whatever we bring in and the trash others leave behind. It is a sport that requires patience, endurance and skill, just like life.

Fairhaven has taught me to give back to the community. Whether you are sentenced to by J.C. or you do it on your own, it’s positive. Since I enjoy helping others, I decided to volunteer at the Woodland Beach Fire Department. From cooking at fundraisers to cleaning the trucks, I learned to deal with some of the nicest to some of the most unpleasant people in Edgewater. I am grateful for my communication skills. To further my experience, in July of 2009, I took a five week EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) course through the University of Maryland. The class required me to take five ride alongs on the ambulance and really buckle down and get serious. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass the final written test. This summer I will. Some of the people I encountered during my training were drunk, on drugs, and I witnessed one suicide. Treatments of patients must remain confidential so I will not elaborate. How it affected me is another story. I learned how desensitizing something like a suicide can be. I did not have nightmares or unwanted memories, it was just terrible.

I’m comfortable speaking in public, communicating, traveling and enjoy working. I have had an array of jobs ranging from cooking at Smoke and Spice, a BBQ pit, to working as a dockhand at South River Marina. In my current job, I do everything from working in the office to being outside with the mechanics, so I don’t make a lot of money. I do not have this job for money; I have this job for experience. I may join the military, not for the stereotypical reason, but for the stability of having a job, going to work everyday, and having a purpose in this world. It’s a lot to think about. My current plan after leaving this utopia of a school is to work for six months to a year at the marina, but no longer than a year, because believe me you cannot live on what I make.

In my intent to graduate, I spoke about balance in life and how it must be maintained. This is what’s most important to me in being an effective adult. If you work too much you’ll lose your friends. If you play, party, or just straight up goof off too much, you’ll lose the stability of a job that most people need for a happy life. Being an effective adult means being true to oneself. Being devoted, funny, responsible, honest, mature, and dependable is who I am. My life, so far, has required many choices. I want to live fully, take chances, change when necessary and remain flexible Whether walking my dog, spending money, managing time, being a friend or doing laundry, it all matters. Right now, I still make mistakes and do things that aren’t productive, but I’m learning all the time, and that I know for sure. My name is Zachary Taylor Bennett. I am seventeen years old, and this is my last walk home.

Zachary Taylor Bennett

Fairhaven School Class of 2010

(Fairhaven School has just graduated five students. As a way to celebrate the class of 2010, over the next month, we will be posting the theses that they  successfully defended. In italics below is a brief description outlining how somebody earns a Fairhaven diploma, followed by the seventh and final thesis. Enjoy!

Students who have spent at least three years at Fairhaven School may earn a diploma by defending the thesis that they have prepared themselves to become effective adults in the larger community. Diploma candidates must declare their intent to graduate and answer questions at a special winter Assembly of parents, students, staff and public members. They also meet with their individual graduation committees, and defend their written theses before a Diploma Committee made up of three experienced staff members from other Sudbury schools. A majority of positive votes from the Committee is the final requirement of  the diploma process.)

Yellow Jackets and Angry Chairs

Because ‘effective adult’ is a subjective term, I believe I should share my personal definition.  An effective adult in my opinion is an adaptive, self-sufficient individual.  I do not believe that age plays a very significant role in determining the effectiveness of a person in the larger community.  While it may be more difficult at times for a younger person to achieve the same goals as a legal adult, I believe with enough determination and maturity, nearly anyone can be self-sufficient and effective.  Furthermore, I believe that I am still on my way to becoming my ideal version of an effective adult.  I still have plenty to learn and experience before I would call myself completely effective, however, I believe I am off to a good start and headed in the right direction.

I began attending Fairhaven School when I was four years old, prior to its existence at its current location.  In 1997, Fairhaven was a co-op held in a house on the Pittman’s farm in Davidsonville.  It was only a part-time school; students enrolled there were considered to be homeschooled by the state of Maryland.  I can recall learning many life lessons at the co-op. These included how to use a broom, improving my chess skills and discovering debate through arguments over the existence of faeries.  One particularly memorable experience I had happened when I was on a walk with former staff member Romey Pittman, and I managed to irritate a nest full of yellow jackets.  I got stung by four yellow jackets in succession, and had to be taken back to the school to be treated.  Even though I had just been stung multiple times, I felt compassion for the wasps, and I was sad that I had upset them.  I’m told that despite the fact that I was in pain, right after I was stung I grinned and said “They must like my African-American meat!”  The co-op was a great place for me to begin learning skills that I still use today and will aid me in becoming an effective adult.

When I was three years old, I began taking violin lessons with a Suzuki accredited teacher until she recommended I play piano.  She told my parents about a piano instructor named Dr. Oster.  I took lessons from Dr. Oster for about a year and a half, and during that time I learned quite a bit about the piano.  When I was four years old, Dr. Oster invited me to play with some of her other students at a recital at the French Embassy in Washington, DC.  I recall practicing very hard to learn the song, and being nervous on the day of the recital.  In the end the recital went very well and I received high praise from the audience and my instructor.  From this experience I began learning the benefits of self-discipline and working hard to achieve my goals.

At Fairhaven I have been a clerk on the Judicial Committee three times and Alternate JC Clerk three times.  My first experience clerking full time was with Anna Droege; I was 11 years old and she was 10.  Being a clerk at that age was a big responsibility for me.  I had to remember to do the sentence list before JC, run the meeting or write the reports, and enter the case information into the database after each meeting.  At the time, one of the duties of the JC Clerks was enter the JC reports into the computer database after each meeting, a job the school’s secretary now handles.  Because I had good spelling skills I wrote most of the reports and did most of the database entry. Clerking could be considered one of my first jobs because of the skills that I was required to have and learn, and the amount of time I had to be willing to commit.  I recall dealing with some challenging cases and people in JC, and through that experience I improved my managerial skills and learned how to be a more patient person.

I have been a member of several corporations and committees at Fairhaven over the years.  These include Public Relations, Art Corporation, Music Corporation, and the failed Chicken Corporation.  I was also the Executive Director of Kitchen Corporation from 2004 to 2005, and I have been the Executive Director of Digital Arts Corporation since 2008.  As the Executive Director of DA Corporation, I run the meetings and help manage the budget.  I also am the sole certifier for the Digital Arts iMac and its miscellaneous hard and software.  At the beginning of the school year two years ago, I was voted successor of the previous Executive Director and at the time, the iMac was in a state of disarray.  There were no designated folders for students to save their work and no limitations on how much memory each student was allowed to consume.  Pretty much all of the RAM was in use when I began working on the Mac, and people had saved files in completely random folders.  It took two weeks of research, deleting files and password protecting folders that were not for general use for the iMac to be in a useable state.  I became more competent with Macintoshes during those two weeks, and even though I am nowhere near mastering that operating system, I’m happy that I was able to succeed at that task by myself.  In many of the corporations that I have been involved with, I have certified School Meeting Members for the various tools the corporation offered.  Being a certifier means that I have to be willing to get up and go teach someone how to properly operate the object in hand, even if I am having a lackluster day.  I have been accountable for certifying Fairhaveners for many things, including how to operate a sewing machine, graphics tablet, scanner, iMac, microwave and conventional ovens, knives, and Photoshop CS2.  I learned how to be a better teacher and I got better at operating some of the aforementioned devices through certifying people.  General knowledge is essential in the outside world, and I believe that I gained some through teaching others at Fairhaven.

When I was seven years old, I had to leave Fairhaven because of the tuition increase.  I left mid-year, which was devastating to me at the time.  I homeschooled for the next three years, but my parents were only involved in homeschooling me for the first year.  My father was unemployed for about a year and stayed at home with me, although he did not do very much teaching.  The next two years were spent at other homeschooled families’ houses, primarily my friend Gillian Brown and my godsister Jasmin Hall’s houses.  I missed Fairhaven so much and pleaded with my parents to let me return, but they could not afford to pay for the tuition.  I believe Fairhaven is a better choice for me, however, I learned some beneficial skills from my three-year homeschooling stint. These include how to entertain myself and how to get along with people that I was constantly around.  My cooking also improved when I was homeschooled, which I think is a crucial skill for an effective adult to have.

When I was eight or nine, I enrolled in an eight-week animation class in Greenbelt, taught by George ‘Mr. Geo’ Kochell.  There, I learned how to make claymation films.  I made a short film entitled The Angry Chair, in which the New York Stock Exchange bell awakens a giant chair, sending him into a rage and ultimately causes him to eat Enron.  I recall reading the newspaper briefly while brainstorming story ideas for my film and seeing an article about Enron’s downfall.  Not knowing anything about Enron, I made up a story about how they reached their demise.  Mr. Geo entered some of his students’ films into various film festivals, and one day in 2002, he told my parents that my film got accepted to the Ottawa ’03 International Student Animation Festival.  In October of that year, I flew with my mom to Ottawa, Ontario to attend the festival.  There were lots of really great animations; my favorite was a series of German films about a man who always wore an electric blanket.  My film did not win any awards, although I did get recognition for it.  Going to Canada was a really great experience; I remember trying to decipher the weather forecast because it was in Celsius, learning about different kinds of animation and tools, and being educated about local foods.  I believe that the chance I had to be really creative turned into a greater learning experience, and I ended up becoming worldlier because of it.

Another incident that I have experienced that has caused me to grow significantly is my estrangement from my mother.  One night in May, 2008, my mother dispossessed me from her home.  We had been having communication issues for many years; I disliked quite a few of her parenting tactics and she felt that she did not need to evaluate or change her tactics since she was the adult in the relationship and had authority over everything.  Needless to say, that caused problems in our relationship.  Since then, I have lived exclusively with my father, with no financial support from my mother.  This has been a burden for my father, especially when he was unemployed again in September, 2008.  This time he was unemployed for six months, and there were times when our water and electricity was shut off.  I definitely worried that I was going to have to leave Fairhaven, and he told me a couple of times that I was probably going to attend a public school.  A couple months after my dad became jobless, I started applying for positions at fast food restaurants, the only places that were offering positions for 15 year olds. In December of that year, I was hired as a Customer Service Representative at Domino’s Pizza, a position I still hold today.  These experiences have been very hard for me, but I have become a much stronger and more effective person because of them.  I have gained work experience and independence and I know that when I move out, I will be able to live by myself successfully.

For the last two school years, I have known that I wanted to go to art school, and I educated myself about the things I needed to learn in order to get accepted.  Last school year I began taking SAT Preparation courses at Fairhaven.  These included Algebra, Geometry and English classes.  I learned so much in those classes that was imperative to getting a decent score on the SAT Reasoning Test.  I took the PSATs twice before taking the SAT this January, which I believe also helped improve my score because I was more familiar with the testing process.  This school year I also searched for and applied to colleges.  I narrowed down my candidates to three: Rocky Mountain College of Art + Design in Denver, School of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston and Oregon College of Art and Craft in Portland.  I have been accepted by all three colleges, and all of them have awarded me with merit and talent scholarships.  Taking the SAT and applying for college has really given me a sense of working with deadlines, which is something I’ve needed to learn as I become an effective adult.

To conclude my thesis, I believe an effective adult is a self-sufficient and adaptive person that does not necessarily have to be a legal adult.  While I am working steadily towards becoming a completely effective person, I do not believe I am quite there yet.  I have had many experiences that have helped guide me to become a capable being in the outside world, including maintaining a steady job, learning how to enjoy solitary pursuits through homeschooling, studying for the SAT, and searching for colleges without the aid of an advisor.  I will continue to work hard towards becoming a more self-sufficient and adaptive person, and I am looking forward to attending college next fall.

Imani Stewart

Fairhaven School Class of 2010

Members of the class of 2009

It’s around midnight on a Wednesday night and just as I’m starting to fall asleep, it starts. Young women are screaming and gallivanting down the hall of the dorm that I live in here at Washington College. I swear, every time it happens (which can be pretty often), I want to march down the hall and pick up a JC form to fill out. And then I remember. No, I’m not at Fairhaven anymore. I can’t write people up for leaving trash outside or being too loud or running down the hall. But I do have a lot of freedom, just like I did at Fairhaven. I have the freedom to take the classes I want to, though there are a lot of requirements. I can lie out on the campus green and read a book or chat with friends, though it’s not as great as playing Capture the Flag.

There are many similarities between Fairhaven School and college, I feel like. Sometimes I don’t even notice it. It makes me feel sorry for the kids here who feel like they have to break free of something- their parents, high school, whatever. I believe it’s because I attended Fairhaven that I’ve never felt that kind of remorse. I’ve learned to truly appreciate my education. I’ve also learned that a lot of people don’t. As I’m in college on basically a full scholarship, I appreciate and utilize all of my time here and don’t understand when other students skip class (though I did once by oversleeping).

As scared as I was about starting college, it really isn’t that different from what I imagined it to be. There are house parties and movie nights and studying until you think your eyes will fall out and starting that paper the night before it’s due. If anything, college has taught me time management. There are deadlines and there are consequences. As an avid procrastinator, I’ve had to rethink some of my homework habits. I have also had to sort of learn how to study again, something I never really had to do at Fairhaven. Sure, I would memorize lines for plays but that was about it. I’ve had to relearn things and sometimes ask for help, which, for some reason, is something I absolutely hate having to do. I guess I must be stubborn or something. Here’s a little college anecdote. The second or third week of classes, I had a sociology paper due. I hadn’t really written a paper since my thesis and before that, who knows when. So I hiked very slowly over to the Writing Center, taking deep breaths on the way. Just as I was about to open the door of the building, I did a 180. I turned around and started walking back to my dorm. Then I turned around again. I did this a couple times. Myself eventually convinced me that I wasn’t stupid and that asking for help was okay. Needless to say, I went to the Writing Center, which was immensely helpful. A week later, when my teacher was handing back our papers, I wasn’t too hopeful. Turned out that I had gotten an A- on the paper. Not too shabby. I also made the Dean’s List last semester, with a 3.6 GPA. The only B I had was in my favorite class, Creative Writing. Go figure.

This semester has been a bit tougher, not to mention busier. Even though I quit the crew team, which I had joined in the fall, I find myself having a lot more work. It seems that the professors expect more of us this semester, which I truly cannot believe is almost over. It seems like a couple months ago I was tearfully reading my poem at graduation, but no,  it’s been almost a year. I’m still learning the ups and downs of college life and of life in general. But I like to think that so far, I’ve got a pretty good handle on it.

Zoe Woodbridge

Washington College